The Magic Number

The magic number for driving is 16, the magic number for smoking is 18, the magic number for drinking is 21, the magic number for having a child is 9, the magic number for a marathon is 26.2. Whether these numbers are followed by years, months, or even miles most big events in life have a magic number that comes with it. What is the magic number for your heart to heal and be ready to start over when you lose someone you care about? One of my favorite shows is The Bachelor and the Bachelorette...............just watching that fairy tale unfold before your eyes makes me smile being the hopeless romantice I am, yet I was skeptical of how 2 people can fall in love in 6 weeks. That is when I realized that 6 weeks was about the time it took me to fall completely out of love with the person I would have given my life for. It hit me then that if I can fall out of love with someone that fast why could Deanna (the bachelorette) or anyone for that matter not fall in love with someone that fast. What is the magic number? For Trista and Ryan on the first season of the bachelorette that magic number was 6 and now they have started a family and still look so happy! This brings me back to the mystery of the magic number for a healing heart. Many people have given me advice (unsolicited of course) telling me when i should start dating again and how I need to give my heart 1 year before I even think about it or that it will take years to get over this and I shouldn't go out looking for anyone.............................obviously those advice givers had never been in the situation I am in. After controlling the urge to yell SHUT UP to most of them I sat back and realized that maybe that was the magic number they had in there mind if they ever went through something like this. Maybe the magic number for emotions is different for everyone. I had originally given myself the 6 month mark before I could even start to date someone. HaHaHa! Why would I tell myself I have to be single for 6 months when I am clearly not in love with the ex anymore and he is clearly not in love with me. If we both want to move on then why would I let a number stop me? that is when I had my AHA moment that since the split in January I have had several magic numbers.........6 weeks to fall out of love, 5 weeks to go out and drink my single blues away, 2 nights at milepost to be introduced to a wonderful guy, 2 weeks of pushing him away so I can stick with the 6 month mark, 2 weeks of secretly "dating" him, 2 weeks of talking about him to my family and friends, and 2 weeks of just enjoying being with him and realizing that I can just be happy, and 2 weeks of Drew and I both spending some time with him just being happy. So now the answer to the important question........the magic number is ZERO. When it comes to your heart, your emotions, and your happiness you can't put a magic number on it.......just go with the flow and know that those that stick with their magic numbers might not have as great of an outcome as those that don't.